Scarred

Wounds & scars

Webster defines a wound as:
an injury or hurt to feelings, sensibilities, reputation, etc.

Webster also defines a scar as:
a mark left by a healed wound, sore, or burn.

I sat and watched as Jesus cleansed and stretched
He called her out into the waters above neck level
The depths
I felt the tears well up in my soul
I asked God why I felt pain in a place He had made whole
I said “God, I thought you healed this”
He said “I have”
An instance of light cascaded through my visual mist

And I wondered, how often do we mistake scars for wounds. I realized that our world and our ego tells us that we have to be one or the other. We are either good or bad, happy or sad, healed or broken. It is within our souls that we hold the capacity for both. I am both healed and I’m broken. In this ability to hold it all I find freedom. I find the freedom the experience both the beauty of being broken and the beauty of being healed. As long as I allow my ego to chart the course for this journey, this either or thinking will rob me of that. I am both addict and both son of God. I am both orphan as well as adopted. The world may not understand such a paradoxical strance but as Christians we must. Jesus was fully Divine and fully man. The Christ has been here for eternity and It is the Divinity of Jesus. Is why The Bible says “on the seventh day WE rested”. Jesus was fully human. Fully man. God is both three and one. God is both male and female. One of His name’s is Else Shaddai. El pointing to the fact that He is God almighty, Shaddai translating to breast, or breasted. El Shaddai very literally means the breasted one.  It’s the male as aspect of fatherhood as a coverer, provider and protector and the female aspect of strength and nourishment just as a woman nourishes her child.

The more I learn about God the more of a Mystery He becomes. Our very existence is a paradox within itself. As Christians we have to transition from an either or thinking or an “in the box” thought pattern and allow The Masterful Mystery to envelope our lives. If we don’t we could be missing out on The Heaven on earth we are to be experiencing now. Paradoxically speaking of course. It is the exact premise that Paul spoke about in 1* Corinthians 1: 21 For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. 22 Jews demand signs and Greeks look for wisdom, 23 but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, 24 but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God.*
The crucifixion of Jesus was both a stumbling block to Jew’s and foolishness to Gentiles. Not either, or but both.  It’s not just black and white. The Alpha and Omega is a dual existence. The Both exist at the same time for They are not linear but cyclical. Which means they are infinite and ever-present.

This brings back to the opening of this conversation.

The Bible talks about wounds in many ways but in Isaiah 1:6 it says it this way concerning a vision that Isaiah had about Judah and Jerusalem:
From the sole of your foot to the top of your head
there is no soundness—
only wounds and welts
and open sores,
not cleansed or bandaged
or soothed with olive oil.

And in my opinion the best biblical description of a scar comes after Jesus ressurection in His conversation with Thomas. He says:
“Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe.”

Here, I think He is saying “I was beaten, bloody and broken but I am no longer so do not regard me as such. Don’t confuse that Me with the Me that stands before you”.   I believe that this was a beautiful depiction saying “Believe, believe, believe that you have been healed”. Do not look upon your scars and confuse them with wounds. Yes, you were once wounded but you have been healed. Been made whole. You are both broken and healed. Your soul is both fractured and whole. I love the way The Voice translation puts it:

Acts 11:9The Voice (VOICE)

9 But then the voice spoke from heaven a second time: “If God makes something clean, you must not call it dirty or forbidden.”

As soon as God answered me I look at the scar on my wrist and realized that our souls are much like our body and it’s my belief that God made it this way. When your wounded in your flesh, the deeper the wound, the more painful it is and the longer it can take to heal. And when that wound is a constant moving piece such as my wrist or your heart, those are ever moving pieces. With every hand movement or everytime we let someone in and they betray us or hurt us, it can prolong the healing. But the deeper the wound, the more permanent the scar. Some scars never fade but we have to stop confusing our scars for wounds. We have to stop looking at our scars and shaking our fist at The Heavens thinking that God hasn’t healed us. Just because we are still broken does not mean we are not healed. Do not call unclean what God has cleansed and in the same manner do not call wounded what God has covered in a scar. That scar is a reminder and we can look at it in different ways but I challenge you to look at it and see life. Look at it and see love. Baske in the beauty of how far you’ve come with God. Your scars are not your wounds. You are not your wounds. You are not your scars. Go in peace for you are being made whole.

6 thoughts on “Scarred

  1. Thank you James for sharing the deep things God is speaking to your heart–very insightful and helpful to consider as each of us walk through our own experiences with wounds, healing, and scars.

  2. Whew…this gets at the heart of me. I so value those who can accept and embrace themselves and others -in process. It seems like a rare thing to be accepted just as you are. Broken and healed. Orphaned and adopted. Put so very beautifully. The scar and wound discussion is powerful. Thank you, James, for sharing what God is speaking. It’s a gift to us.

  3. James, this is wonderful. As we deepen, the mystery of our Sovereign God becomes more and more wonderful… intriguing to the point of creating great thirst for Him.

    I am so thankful for you.

    Love you Brotherman.

  4. James…..
    All I can say is my heart resonates YES!!
    Looking at it & seeing abundant life!!!!!
    “An instance of light cascaded through my visual mist.”
    I love knowing this capacity for both—healed & yet broken; wounded, healing & scarred healers, healing healers, healed & yet healing always. Sealed in his love forever. Becoming like Him on the delicate & daring journey. Not one or the other, but both – healed, yet broken.
    We’ve been in process too and I personally am setting up an appt. for myself for a session for new revelation
    in an area that kind of snuck up on me in a trauma that seems to still have lots of tenderness around it from way back around 2-3rd grade time. Something I witnessed. I feel happy about another new burst of freedom & joy to come. Peace & rest in Jesus to just keep lining me up with gifts of the cross & resurrection–scars over wounds! Christ in me, the hope of glory!!!! Glory to glory!
    Thank you James. I feel cleansed and refreshed in the awesomeness of our God!!!

  5. Hello James
    Have been encouraged by your storey as I read the book Mud and the Masterpiece
    Was so glad the author included your website
    This poem and others I read today have pointed me back to the Healer and Lover of my soul
    Thank you for answering His request to follow and share your journey through written proes
    Blessings to you and keep letting Him use your life as a light to a very dark world
    Your light reached all the way to Canada today to me
    Allen

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