Don’t let me down
Don’t let me falling into this journey lead me to a gurney
In a hurry and I don’t know why
So many thoughts that rush past me
So much internally optimized opposition of the past me
Deep in my soul I can hear you calling
It’s like being pushed off a mountain
panic sets in from falling
Way to fast
Swinging my arms wildly at any semblance of idling to slow down this succession
And my confession
God, I don’t want you to let me down
Don’t let me drown as I wade in waters much deeper than I’ve known
Don’t let me down as I reach for heights much higher than I’ve flown
I believe I hear you calling me
To come out in to the depths
Where no eyesight can serve you and the only recognition is in submission
To the collision of my fingertip to what’s felt
You healed the blind man
but I need sight myself
I can hear you calling me
At times Your words are scattered like light through the cracks in my soul
In trying to purposely live my purpose
Yet I struggle with feeling worthless
Like how can I be the me I see and still deserve this
Have I truly been forgiven by you God and have my sins really been cast into the sea
Where are you when I need you the most
But at times I feel so unworthy of your presence I don’t want you to come close
God, I only have my words and will that be enough
You’ve gifted me specifically and it’s you who’s molded my delivery
But will that be enough
The worlds that exists within my frame are hard to contain and they fall onto paper
Disguised as prose and pain
But will that be enough
You’re my creator
And you created me to create
From Your imagination I was stitched together
Intricately designed and woven
My imagination is powered from your solar
Your Son
You are My Father and I am your son with whom Your soul is well pleased
You are The Circle Maker and the time on my lifeline is ordained
You lead me in orbits for the sake of Your name
And if seven trips around the city is what you’re requiring then seven journeys I will make
Even when each lap painfully feels the same
Lord give me the spirit of Issacar
They were men who understood the times and knew what needed to be done
They knew how striving within your divineness didn’t have to be hard
Give me an Ecclesiastes wisdom as with everything there is a season
A time to every purpose under the heaven
There is a time to be born, a time to die
There’s a time to stand still and a time to fly
There is a time for sowing and a time for reaping when the harvest is ripe
Hope deferred makes the heartsick but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life
I know it’s not my time so I’m settled in my soul
Our prayer life doesn’t have this constant agony and defeat
There’s supposed to be more joy and more peace
In this peace I find new eyes to see
Not just clarity in You but confidence in me
Connect me to Your yes in this life through trust and agreement
Connect me to Your yes and take the focus off the no’s
Help me see my life and how to love myself in the way You intended my story to go
Help me syncopate the seconds to correlate to your pendulum’s flow
In this peace I can feel your soul in a comforting embrace
Patent patience into my spirit to steady my footing to endure the race
My purpose no matter what revolves around seeking you
No matter what our purpose involves we can’t do it without you