Don’t let me down

Don’t let me down
Don’t let me falling into this journey lead me to a gurney

In a hurry and I don’t know why

So many thoughts that rush past me

So much internally optimized opposition of the past me

Deep in my soul I can hear you calling

It’s like being pushed off a mountain

panic sets in from falling

Way to fast

Swinging my arms wildly at any semblance of idling to slow down this succession

And my confession

God, I don’t want you to let me down

Don’t let me drown as I wade in waters much deeper than I’ve known

Don’t let me down as I reach for heights much higher than I’ve flown

I believe I hear you calling me

To come out in to the depths

Where no eyesight can serve you and the only recognition is in submission

To the collision of my fingertip to what’s felt

You healed the blind man

but I need sight myself

I can hear you calling me

At times Your words are scattered like light through the cracks in my soul

In trying to purposely live my purpose

Yet I struggle with feeling worthless

Like how can I be the me I see and still deserve this

Have I truly been forgiven by you God and have my sins really been cast into the sea

Where are you when I need you the most

But at times I feel so unworthy of your presence I don’t want you to come close

God, I only have my words and will that be enough

You’ve gifted me specifically and it’s you who’s molded my delivery

But will that be enough

The worlds that exists within my frame are hard to contain and they fall onto paper

Disguised as prose and pain

But will that be enough

You’re my creator

And you created me to create

From Your imagination I was stitched together

Intricately designed and woven

My imagination is powered from your solar

Your Son

You are My Father and I am your son with whom Your soul is well pleased

You are The Circle Maker and the time on my lifeline is ordained

You lead me in orbits for the sake of Your name

And if seven trips around the city is what you’re requiring then seven journeys I will make

Even when each lap painfully feels the same

Lord give me the spirit of Issacar

They were men who understood the times and knew what needed to be done

They knew how striving within your divineness didn’t have to be hard

Give me an Ecclesiastes wisdom as with everything there is a season

A time to every purpose under the heaven

There is a time to be born, a time to die

There’s a time to stand still and a time to fly

There is a time for sowing and a time for reaping when the harvest is ripe

Hope deferred makes the heartsick but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life

I know it’s not my time so I’m settled in my soul

Our prayer life doesn’t have this constant agony and defeat

There’s supposed to be more joy and more peace

In this peace I find new eyes to see

Not just clarity in You but confidence in me

Connect me to Your yes in this life through trust and agreement

Connect me to Your yes and take the focus off the no’s

Help me see my life and how to love myself in the way You intended my story to go

Help me syncopate the seconds to correlate to your pendulum’s flow

In this peace I can feel your soul in a comforting embrace

Patent patience into my spirit to steady my footing to endure the race

My purpose no matter what revolves around seeking you

No matter what our purpose involves we can’t do it without you