Transformation according to Webster is a change in someone’s appearance or form

Conformity is described simply as an adaption, such as an umbrella protecting you from the storm

Paul writes to the Romans: Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind

So according to Paul, there is a fine line between the two

With conformity you simply learn to imitate,
as a chameleon changes its colors to keep itself safe

With transformation there is an internal shift that lifts the veil with all it entails and in dwells an abundance that cracks the shell

For me, conformity simply masked the casket whilst my spirit was slowly dying and hidden

Giving the devil plenty of time and space to plunder

I wondered how long I could continue with my outward veneer

Until it occurred to me that the spiritual maggots didn’t complain about the menu

They feasted on my silence, and transgressions that I hid out of fear

Fear of the millions of conjunctions I could come up with to connect every lie to sigh

Clearing room in my throat for the imminent why and but

But my imagination was corrupted

My conformation was disrupted

The time and energy spent on hiding my darkest secrets from people who were hiding there darkest secrets from me

Instead we could better use the discovery for healing and recovery

There is where my brokenness became defined

The painful permeation that disregarded my hesitation

It crept on me slow with no delineation

I could not and still can not describe the depth of how I felt

People were concerned for me and worried yet not more than I worried for myself

It is hard to seek help

It was so hard to admit that I was not myself

Yet who was I

I was broken and afraid

I would only shed my tears when I sat alone

I was so deep into my addictions

Self medicating without prescriptions

I had buried my convictions in a shallow grave in the cold

There was a flicker of a flame that quickly consumed me somewhere deep inside

That set ablaze everything as far as I could see with my eyes

In that refining fire I laid

In that fire I died

Because Jesus found me in that fire and brought me back to life

I’ve suffered a lot of heartbreak and given far more

Each of the broken shards I’ve collected from the scattered wreckage on the floor

I’ve given to Him

He mended them together and in His hands came out far better

We become the object of our focus

I was so deeply buried in my pain and self disdain

That my refrain felt as unheard as if I was throat-less

We often fight so hard to eradicate our sin

That we miss the lesson that it was left to teach

As long as we continue to hate the darkest parts of our soul

We’ll only be half loved, half hearted, and half whole

The first step to healing is accepting your broken parts

Learning to love the parts of yourself that are hidden deep in the dark

Understanding that God made every part of you even the ones you don’t like

Jesus wants to meet even your least admirable pieces and bring all of you into relationship with Him

In the light

I thank Jesus that He died for me while I was knee deep in my sin

So that no man could ever get the credit

For my blood bought salvation I could never become un-debted

It was in my brokenness that His strength was perfected

The one road that I needed I couldn’t see

I was stuck in the paralysis of my analysis

That one road was He

JESUS

I used my trust issues to stay in bondage which deceivingly seemed safe

He allowed the circumstances that I faced

To mold me and show me how to seek His face

Before me He painted a perfect portrait of my purpose

James, I’ve never left you nor will I ever forsake you

You are my beloved and to me you will never be worthless

But if it is your time and this darkness you encounter

Do not give up

If you feel empty yet there is a light that you can see dimly

He will help you stand up

Jesus said “come to Me all those who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest for your soul”

Jesus said “Bring me your pain and in exchange I will give you my peace”

I love you and if you want to hide for now I will let you

But if you are ready to come out and see the light of the sun

In my embrace you are secure

Every time you fall I will catch you

You are His most precious miracle since He hand sewn the cord of your umbilical

Transformation is so necessary but it is painful to pass through fire

A transformation from a life to which you can never return

The beauty is that we have the same promise that God made Abraham, Isaac, Moses, and Jacob

That He will ALWAYS be with us.

He will NEVER leave us nor forsake us.

He will send a messenger before you, who will prepare your way ahead.

Where you go, so will He, and in this we can trust

If you’re being called into a season of healing He’s already swept clean the path set before you and cleared the brush

There is no one alive who to you can describe

The wealth of love that He has reserved specifically for you

It is a love that you feel and can not be put into words

A love you so greatly deserve

His light breaking through utter darkness

It is your transformation