Pressing into the wind spins the vision
Knee buckling struts destructs walking the straight and narrow
Feet digging so deep into the dirt that my toes hurt
Reminding myself that His eye is on the sparrow
Sounds good in theory
Gale forces drown out my voice and throws my cries back at me
I hear a wailing sound grounded in the wind
I can feel the tears running down and around the back of my neck
You’d expect
The winds to slow to a breeze
You’d protect
Yourself with a shelter but the swelter wrapped up in my fleece
Is suffocating me
I can see the finish line as I’m lifted from my feet
and I watch the progress I’ve made sweep right under me
in slow motion im floating down into a sea
of the emotional me
so being stuck between a drown and the wind pressing down
I find myself staring at feet
He reaches His hand down to me
“get up James”
this storm that I am enduring gives me hope
ensuring that it would not be as violent and memorable
if the choking soak of these waters that slaughter the martyr
is killing him off to make it easier for me to do more than just cope
it is a fight for my freedom
to keep me on the road to my rightful place in His kingdom
where there is no more of this chiseling of my cataracted spirit
in this scale shedding process I keep running into interference
which tells me
that the snakes which slither through my veins
no longer recognize me
each morning glance in the mirror seems to surprise me
I am not who I was
I am not who I will be
I am who I am
im just learning to accept me