Right now I have two choices
I can fight against the attack
Or simply give into the voices
Each choice comes with a consequence
As apparent as white and black
There’s no grey in the clouds that rains and trains the doubt to stack
I’ve always been my most difficult opponent
It’s hard to fight someone that knows your every move
They watch you 24/7 and have studied your armor
enough to know every chink and groove
I know every weapon you posses
he knows every hiding place and every defect
Tell me, how do I defeat a reflection that does not deflect
I battle my paranoia and it’s my greatest tussle
I understand how difficult it is to slay your fear daily and watch it stand back up after the struggle
We both are bloody and bruised
Seeing it walk out of the fire victorious leaving my victory confused
Closely followed by shame and guilty
As they surround me I fall to my knees
Their syncopated punches pierces my pores like light through a net
Every strike calculated to equate to add to my division
Am I in a fight with them or myself because each one carries a different trait of personalities I placed high on a shelf
Paul said when you’ve done all you can then just stand
So can I still be standing down on my knees withstanding
My shield proved useless since my enemy held it and also mastered its usage
I beg and plead for intervention on this battle that delivers it’s poison intravenous
I’m trying to outwit a genius in a game they invited
Where they don’t play fair and pride themselves on cheating to be the meanest
Today I’m simply trying to figure out
How to overcome the doubt
