I am the son of the sin of Adam
Blessed with the implementation of love from the removal of a stabbing
God walked with Him daily
Yet it turned into the pain of shame
Of trying to hide from The Light when He created the shade
The recognition of my outward depiction
That In my bare skin is the intricate stitching
Where once lived my affliction
My visible scars have turned into confining bars
Trapped me in plan sight

So it’s where I’ve been
It’s a prison built on a prism of shame and guilt
Guilty of being born of a man who lied and hid his shame
Ashamed that I’m guilty of being like a father I reject and deserves the blame
As insane as I can be
Trying to blend
Unwilling to accept my sin
Trying my damnedest not to be seen
Suffocating beneath the weight of my gift
When it is that which will set me free

My fear of man had kept me complacent
so much so that my oppositions soliloquy has been enough to impede my ability
When I was created to see the attack before it comes
Given a spiritual agility to counteract my futility
Yet I stay still
Afraid to be known

Although we were not given a spirit of fear
I know
I read
I hear those words
It’s hard for an orphan to acclimate a constant meal
To believe that this adoption is deserved
Orphans act out in new placement
A new name to be known by and unrecognized faces
To be washed clean and not recognize that there is no fear to be seen
That I can stop fighting and watching my back
From the attack that’s for most of life had been circadian

I hear you calling to me, God
I want to step out into the light
I want to be your mouth since I’m so obviously
your adopted son

I hear you calling me
As I dispell the sin of my father
I want to relay your message since so obviously it is me with whom you bothered
To speak in such a unique and specific way
I accept you as my Father Jesus
I want to be your heir

Jesus I feel you drawing me closer
Overwhelming my senses
I’m trying desperately to come out from behind my defenses
To come out from hiding
It’s suffocating me slowly

My father broke me and I’m trying to accept you never called me to live a life in the back
To accept the fact that You love me
And You already know me